Our kids need Hip-Hop! Millions of mediocre talents are disappearing at an alarming rate. Hillary Duff is going to be 17 next year, come on! That’s retirement age. Kids need to learn that all white American males without pony tails cause ALL the worlds problems and EVERYONE ELSE is as innocent as a newborn, unless you happen to be promoted as the next big thing in Hip Hop and you incarcerated for no reason other than you shot a 17 year old to death at a club, because, well because you don’t remember, but whatever the reason white kids need your album marketed to them as soon as possible, because if you get on parole you might be as popular as Hillary Duff is next year.

I honestly had to tell myself to shut of my television last night, I was watching MTV2, which used to show videos of crappy bands, but decided they would go down the [Adult Swim] method.

It’s clear I’m the only one who thinks this way, but I’m okay with it; remember being okay with your beliefs, I guess this only works if you are gay or want to dance or show cartoons with homeless people jerking off. Wow! It’s brilliant! He’s got his hands in his pants and his pants are held up with rope! Is this social commentary? Do the people who submit these program ideas have a fucking clue what social commentary is? Yes, it’s homeless people jerking off in a Korean bodega.

http://www.observer.com/pages/nytv.asp

Hollywood, in its infinite wisdom is at last speaking out about the dangers of Right Wing Amerika and their evil agenda to surcease the making of fairy tale characters who are apparently gay for no apparent reason, other than to bend over for the gay Hollywood agenda of having our children put on a healthy diet of “Heather has two dads who cry whenever PBS runs a Judy Garland retrospective.”

I’m not bothered by this, but this kills me:

http://www.hbo.com/apps/schedule/ScheduleServlet?ACTION_DETAIL=DETAIL&FOCUS_ID=584470

Are there ANY new ideas coming out? How many times can we repackage the same shit, with updated "hip-hoppness" and blow our loads over it.

How many times can I hear how much fun it was working on a film, how demanding it was on the actors, how they bought a 3^rd home in Malibu and had their chalet in French countryside restored to it’s former glory after they went on a crystal meth and chi tea rampage and put the windows out with a case of Vueve Cliquot.

How demanding was your stunt work? Well basically they had to sit in front of a camera so a texture mapping plug-in for Maya could render their face to a motion captured model. Understandably this puts the actor in considerable danger, that is he or she will have to make up something that sounds like a human being was used for the shoot and 98% of the movie was actually made with a piece of software, but it runs on a computer shaped like Tom Seizmore's head.

Here’s a bit of advice for Hollywood that will never make it to Hollywood:

Come up with some new ideas! Or better yet, some new stereotypes!

African American grandmother is a sex freak! It’s been done. So has the guy eating chicken while a girl wearing a top made from kleenex does his hair in corn-rows. Just because black people either write the script or agree to act it does not prevent it from being impossibly absurd.

Here’s another one: Black nerd. Every school as a black spelling bee champ, computer whiz and math scholar. He usually up-rocks on command, he’s also fond of wearing pocket protectors. I went to school in a heavly nerded part of Long Island c. 1985, the Victorian age of Nerdom, and I don’t know a sing kid who wore one of these fucking things.“Come on Wendell, all black people are born with the intrinsic ability to bust into the robot when we cajole! You’ve seen us dance! It’s an embarrassment to all things living and dead.” This is nothing more than 21^st century Bo-Jangle-isim.

Fat Italian kid who has reprehensible morals like his father, done that too. Italians might as well be toilet paper in tinsel town, they are used for the same purpose.

School loner girl whose friends compromise all colors of the ethnic spectrum (one Black, on Chinese.) and has flamboyant gay younger brother: Well that’s all of Nickelodeons shows planned for 2005 until they start showing cartoons of homeless men masturbating.

Koreans: or as they call them Asian-Italians. How many times can you milk the “you go now” John Pinochet act. They are especially funny when black people come to their corner grocery stores and they are convinced “Some roun’ eye hip-hoppa lift my fotty ounce!” only to later be told by their wiser childeren that inner-city youths who live in housing projects or on the streets with hot and cold running violence would never dream of taking something that they did not politley purchase.

Movies where Injuns, I mean Native Americans live in perpetual Woodstock without the guitar solos: If ever there was an injustice to my people this is it. Before my ancestors came to Long Island to live, they came down to slaughter half the tribes in Nassau County. Men, women, children, anything not Iroquois, this went for squirrels, mustard and shellfish.

Also, for the love of all living things: Stop kissing each others asses 365 days a year;

Sean Penn can tell us what a bunch of bullies we are for putting a man in prison for effectively having 270,000 people murdered to keep an aura of fear around his political structure but he can not tell me why Jude Law is the next Gregory Peck. Nuh-uh. I know who Jude Law is, but I don’t give a crap. AI, you call that a movie? I’m having a lawsuit drawn up for actually harming my opinions of other Kubrick films just knowing he heard of that abomination.

Nicole Kidman is not a legend, she is a piece of ass, and there is a huge difference. Abe Lincoln is a legend; I do not want to slide in a hot tub topped off with Swiss Miss and Cool Whip with Abe Lincoln.

Vincent DiOnofrio: Stop having fainting spells when your political party fails to get themselves catapulted into power by using “We told you to listen, why didn’t you listen?” tactics. (By the way, you didn’t listen because 18 year olds could not be coerced from the couch playing Grand Theft Auto to care about who will create policy for the free world for the next four years!) Fainting spells are for Victorian women who stumble on a copy of Marquis De Sade’s nursery rhymes tucked away in their husband’s handkerchief while he is off beheading mongrels in Rhodesia, not for grown men.

And what is up with getting attacked with pastry? Right wing, left wing, no one is safe! What an intelligent fucking argument is this. “I disagree with your thinking, but not in words I can communicate to you with, so I will slap a Ho-Ho down on you.”

Whoever thought free speech was for bringing up new ideas is dead wrong, it’s a pissing contest, but you get a slice of pie at the end or a bottle full of sperm (see below)

J3K.