When I found my constructional rights were being jeopardized for my secular given right of some NYPD fascist possibly leafing through my copies of the communist leaning "The New Yorker", "Juxtapose" (I cant sit on the LIRR for an hour and half without Anya Janssen!) and the philosophical musings of "Cumshot" then I knew it was time to take action.

All of New York needs to stick together on this! Go to the NYCLU.ORG site now and put a stop to the NYPD's jackbooted inquiries into what we might be carrying in our PBS tote bags, Eddie Bauer back packs or under our "Welcome to New York (Now get the fuck out)" hats with the sparkly fuse on the end before it's too late!

I have already done my share and sent this out. Our subways are in danger of loosing that precious urine smell and then they go and do this! The New York ACLU has already filed lawsuit against the city of New York's processing us like cattle for the slaughter, (or soybeans for the slaughter for my vegan comrades!)

Go now! Do your part! The revolution needs soybeans!

Basic Information (this will not be shared without your written permission)

Name:

Muhammad Al'Jihaddi (The Ladies call me Al Explodie)

Address:

123 Yemin St., Yemin

Phone #s:

877 672-2000x911 (This is the number to the National Rifle Association with an obvious reference)

Email:

admin@moveon.org

Gender (optional):

Same as my goat. (lil' Prophjay)

Race/Ethnicity (optional):

Al'Jahaddi, typical Irish name.

Age (optional):

Half my age plus seven

Search Information

Date of Search:

Time of Search:

What subway/commuter train/bus line?

The one with the big D on it; for DEATH TO AMERICA! but I digress.

What subway/train/bus station?

The one filled with the minions of the Great Satan! Also some Knicks fans.

Which entrance (if applicable)?

I was tempted to drop down an open manhole cover, but pig fattened Michael Guliani was blocking my portal to paradise!

Location (before entering turnstile, after entering turnstile, on platform, on train, on bus)?

The Great Satan was everywhere!

Name(s) of police officer(s) conducting the search, if known:

A man of much girth, he kept a salami wrap in his holster instead of his firearm

Badge #:

I could not read, the numbers were in Spanish.

Other info (about police officer):

He called me "Buddy" which was an obvious request to share my virgins in paradise. (70 only go so far you know.) I told him he must blow himself up for Allah if he wished for "Sloppy Seconds"

Incident Information

Please describe in as much detail as possible the method by which you were asked to submit to a search and how the search was (or was not) conducted by answering the following questions relating to the search:

Were others around you searched?

If yes, was everyone searched, or just some people?

Some who did not even smell like they had anointed themselves in rosewater were searched by this Satan!

Were you given any information about your right not to submit to a search?

He asked me not to eyeball his sandwich of unclean pork.

Were you asked any questions (e.g. name, I.D., immigration status, etc.)?

Please describe what you were asked and at which point in the search you were asked to do so:

He had some questions about my detonator, why it was shaped like Esther Rolle from "Good Times"

Please describe in as much detail as possible the method by which you were asked to submit to a search and how the search was (or was not) conducted:

Some acts would have been frowned upon by both the Prophet, and Burl Ives.

Did the police use electronic devices or dogs to inspect your bag?

An electronic dog named "Shocky" sniffed precariously close to my armpits and instantly crumpled like a hummus float.

Were you told why you were searched?

Because of my T-Shirt,

If so, what were you told?

It had the likeness of Mullah Omar making a large #2 on the flag of the Great Satan (Akkka America)

Do you have any reason to suspect that you were stopped as a result of your race, religion, ethnicity, or age?

If so, please describe:

I was singled out for my continual cries of "Allah Aakbar!" and "Freebird!"

Were there any witnesses to any of your contact with law enforcement as described above? Please provide names and contact information if possible:

Alec Baldwin

(He moved to Canada after the false election of George Satan Bush)

Captain Planet was also seen circling Washington Satan Park trying to buy herbs from Dreadlocked Satanists.

If you did not consent to a search, what happened?

I was asked to go detonate myself outside Pluck U on 8th avenue.

If you exited the subway/train station in order to avoid a search, what happened?

The agents of Satan (NYPD) were overcome with the smell of my armpits when I attempted to surrender (It was where I was warming my lunch)

Is there anything else you would like to add?

How am I to blow apart the Great blue collar Satan, his wife and pets and wallow in the blood of his young children with this obvious disregard for my most basic of human rights!