http://www.cnn.com/2005/SHOWBIZ/TV/04/07/tv.cookie.lessmonster.ap/index.html

I have been watching Sesame St. for a little over a year (If there is one gag that never gets old, it’s Jim Henson wiping out on those steps trying to juggle “Ten coconut custard pies with whip cream!”) So I have already seen Cookie Monster eat carrot sticks, celery and salads.
The reason why the news media decide to turn this into a major news item now must be related to Pfizer's upcoming announcement for a new weight loss drug that is supposed to metabolize everything without having the body process it, none of it. This is bulimia, without stomach acid or sticking a toothbrush down your throat. If it does work I imagine it will be approved faster than our septuagenarian congress can sport wood with a handful of Viagra, which by the way was approved in how many days? I think 60, I could be wrong. This was not going to sit on a shelf and be tested for two years, no fucking way.
I can't think of the name of the drug, I’m struggling to recall it, but Cookie monster has been on this diet for quite some time. It's non-news until Cookie Monster is called to the stand to defend the 10,000 lawsuits against him. Layers know PBS has money, they’ve been working out of the same Janitor Closet since the Lyndon Johnson was sworn in c. 1963 but they’ve started showing commercials, so they must be loaded.

Our Kids still need Hip-Hop culture! And we need stupid sensationalistic crap to keep us buying Beyer aspirin or else we will have heart attacks, or drugs that prevent you from peeing but give you projectile diarrhea and lesions, but we won't know this unless we follow the Cookie Monster debacle! It’s about food! We are about food! Fat America, and our fat is contagious, Europe is getting fat and it’s not just Bavarians or Slavic broads either! Asians are getting fat! Gone are the days when George Takai rip off his yellow Star Fleet v-neck and his hairless, but man-sweaty six pack is glistening all over his yellowy George Takai buffness.

I'm glad we let countries on the African Continent send scientists over to Monsanto to come up with genetically modified fruits and vegetables that need little or no watering, or soil enrichment and can provide vitamins, nutrients and immunizations for children who are dying somewhere in the neighborhood of 20,000 a day over there so their governments can tell us; "Seeds! Are you fucking dumb! Just send the money! Our AK-47's need more bullets, we lost the last million and a half rounds in a rebel stronghold last week, when both sides were firing through a village of women and children."
But don't worry, they were going to starve to death anyway!

My hat goes off to environmentally conscious Americans and European farmers who block the distribution of these foods as well.
The European Food Growers would be wiped out, and it would have enormous consequences on their economy. Good for me, the Euro would plummet and I could buy a package of Chocolate Digestives for less than an ounce of pure Columbian cocaine.

I got to holla at my holmies, mah strobies; the American environmental sheep who feel we should be bringing the food directly to these villages, it must be an incredible sense of accomplishment for someone to wait around while food is delivered to them because they can not be trusted to grow it on their own.

Am I saying Monsanto is the Mother Theresa of starving. I’m sure their investors would have a problem with that, they want to get rich, which you should only do by acting or lip-syncing! Shame on them.

At what point am I a total racist for thinking: Give the African farmers the modified seeds, they have the land, they could grow the food, feed their families, sell the rest off, have an economy where we would not have to pump millions into it just to keep them from civil war because there is no food and the government and the rebels keep "conscripting" their kids to find mine fields so the more experienced soldiers don't loose a foot or cranium.
What a deplorable human I am for even harboring the idea that in order for someone less fortunate then myself will never succeed unless I personally walk them through life.