My list of Stand Up Comedians.

first off, some explanation. This is strictly Stand-Up Comedians and nothing else, if this was comedians in movies and TV it would be entirely different (about a dozen females right off the top of my head for instance) and many of my top 10 comedians of all time I've never seen do standup so pretty much all of Monty Python who would dominate that list I've never seen on stage telling shit to a crowd.  also this is dependent on when I saw the act or caught the bit and if it was funny at that time, not if it's still funny now, not all of this stands up to the test of time, though much of it does. Also if the comedian in question did something shitty to someone or many people but I didn't know it at the time and their shit was funny they stay on the list. It's how I reacted when I saw it. This is my list and if you take umbrage with it well, fuck you.

and yea, I can't spell.

Hall of Famers:

1) George Carlin

2) Richard Pryor (tie Dave Chappelle) 

3) Steve Martin

4) Eddie Murphy

5) Robin Williams

Hall of fame honorable mention: Bob Newhart, Woody Allen, Bill Cosby, Andy Kauffman,  Rodney Dangerfield

Sublime Motherfuckers:

6) Patton Oswalt

7) Mike Birbiglia

8) Louis C.K. Bill Hicks

9) Eddie Pepitone

10) Aziz Ansari 

Honorable Mention, and some of these guys would probably rank higher if I knew more of their sets so in no particular order, and the list would be larger if I got out more often: Jim Gaffigan, John Pinette, Zack Galafanakis, Eddie Izzard, Mitch Hedberg, Dave Chapelle (see top5) Mario Joyner, Dave Attell, Bill Burr, Dave Barry, Bill Hicks (see sublime list), Big Jay Oakerson, Michael Keyton, David Cross, Taylor Negron, Jim Bruer, Colin Quinn, Dennis Leary, Billy Conley, Brian Regan. Ron White, Sinbad (met him by chance in 2017 he was wonderful and genuine and talented beyond all my expectations), Chelsea Peretti, Jerry Sienfeld, John Leguizamo, Kamul Nanjani, Marc Maron

Dishonorable Mention, any puppet or prop based comedy sucks and I have a deep respect for puppets (list deleted, you already know who you are)