SYMPTOM OF THE UNIVERSE

existential dread, subjective media and news reviews and opinionated but not necessarily well-informed commentary.

Friday, August 12, 2005

My Thoughts For Today (with lots of parentheses)

I don't like these subway bag searches at all. I am not going to rehash any tired arguments about how useless they really are since you may refuse to be search and be allowed to leave the station, only to enter another station to release deadly gas (like Jimmy does after a 3 onion burrito lunch). what if I am carrying a big fat skunky doobie (does anyone use that term anymore?) whilst listening to The Doobie Brothers (were they ever truly cool?) on my vintage Sony Walkman (because everything old and dated and not better than new and improved is now in fashion)?

I have no point. I just want to get back into writing again and am happy to see the responses of my old and new friends flowing in. Talk to me about either the Doobie Brothers or Jimmy's Burrito devatation (or combine topics to make the Smelly Burrito Brothers).

posted by tom @ 6:49 PM  

6 Comments:

  • At 4:20 PM, Blogger Moo R. Squiddles said…

    It was not a 3 onion burrito, it was 6 with serrano chiles and cabbage. It was horrible. There Jimmy was, in his Donny Osmond underwear (as usual) perched on top of his bookshelf throwing handfulls of beans at a huge poster of 'A Clockwork Orange'. I ran in, stupified to hear DB's "South City Midnight Lady" playing with scorching volume. Jim's face turned red with fury!! Red like, well..uh, Joe Piscopo Red!!! Then the detonation happened.........

    When I woke up, to my amazement, I was in Boise.

     

  • At 5:48 PM, Blogger tom said…

    Whilst cranking out the riff to "China Grove" Jimmy's uncanny devotion to all things garlic, cabbage and lima bean audibly manifests itself as a multi-faceted maelstrom of fermented smog - so low-end and noxious that it functions as a replacement for a bassist, a levitation-inducing jetpack that happens to be smelly too, and weapons-grade bio-ass terror materials.

    I could write about this stuff forever, chuckling to myself in a scatological paradise where fart sounds ring repeatedly as an ambient part of the natural landscape, followed by laugh-track peals of manic guffawing, however too much of a good thing can grow tiresome, I'm told...

     

  • At 6:23 PM, Blogger Marie Drucker said…

    Oh, dear. Let's not forget that I have to work with Jim.

    I feel so naive. I never realized so much of this. Jim's Donny Osmond fixation, the garlic stuff. I might not let him near my computer. And you know, Tommy, it wasn't until your post that I realized Doobie wasn't their last name! I thought Michael McDonald was a cousin or something. Silly me.

    Here... I've woven all the DB songs I could recall into a socialist reply.

    With the terrorists Takin’ It to the Streets, the NYPD has a dilemma. They have to do something, but randomly searching packages and backpacks seems odd. At once they are being somewhat proactive, they are trying to avoid racial profiling and they are possibly treading on our civil liberties. What a Fool Believes, indeed.

    We know that there are signs that might give away a potential terrorist about to get on that Long Train Runnin’—he or she would be sweating profusely, smelling like a China Grove and praying to Allah. But that could be said about many of us on a sweltering August afternoon. (I prefer jasmine water to rose water, and Jim probably likes Black Water, but what cop would know the difference?)

    And if they single out just those of seemingly Arab descent, won’t they wrongly arrest some innocent people? Do we want to repeat some of the mistakes we made during WW2, when we imprisoned Japanese-Americans? How about the people who were wrongly hurt or killed right after 9/11? The Sikh gas station owner? Americans, ironically enough, are notoriously xenophobic. Here we are, a nation of immigrants, pointing fingers at anyone who is not like us.

    What happens next? What if some people start saying that we’re bringing on this terrorism because of our support of Israel, and those of Jewish heritage are singled out? What happens to my sons and Jim’s daughter?

    I don’t want to live in a police state, so I am somewhat grateful for the work of the ACLU. It may seem outlandish to protect the rights of those intent on destroying us, but our rights must be protected. Or we become no better than them.

    (I couldn't get You Belong to Me in there and I've run out of ideas.)

     

  • At 10:10 PM, Blogger tom said…

    Wow... That was quite the response, with the interwoven Doobie Bros. references and all! I cannot top that one. The serious stuff was potent - I agree with your take on this whole thing snowballing out of control. It could happen, the way things do when we collectively try to assign blame to a "boogey-man".

     

  • At 10:25 AM, Blogger Marie Drucker said…

    (write to me, Tommy... at merry17d@yahoo.com and I'll answer your other questions)

     

  • At 3:32 PM, Blogger jimmy3000 said…

    You fools!
    Here are the facts:
    It was "Long Train Runnin'"
    It was a "1100 Onion Onyunanga" (Santa Maria!)
    And the ACLU are more deceptive than the Knights Templar. I would not permit a dog to pee in a cup for them to quench their Onyunanga induced thirst

    J3K's 11 Hundred Onion Onyunanga
    1100 Black Onions (Torn apart by vengful spirts or put in a food processor)
    666 Particle Board smoked penguin bladders
    13 Tbs. Pete's "Red Hot" (gotta have the petes!)
    Salt, Pepper, refined goat fat to taste.
    999 Ritz Crackers to dip and throw at one another.

    Combine ingredients over telephone using Billy Barty's neck. place in the center of a pentagram for 3 days and 17 nights. Garnish with live weasals.

     

Post a Comment

<< Home