SYMPTOM OF THE UNIVERSE

existential dread, subjective media and news reviews and opinionated but not necessarily well-informed commentary.

Tuesday, May 24, 2005

Not-so-memorable Sith Masters and their apprentices:

Darth Scary and Layne
Father and Son team. Layne was too busy trying to impress chicks and freak out his stoner friends with “unnatural” Sith powers (i.e. Hover-farting) had no desire to become "a total dick head” following in his fathers path to death and un-coolness and like totaly freaking out when Layne got scratches on the Imperial Mini Van. Both were killed when Layne ignited the first twin-ion engine propelled bong.

Lord Uglis and Oooky the Chimp
Chimp rebelled when bananas were withheld and beat his masters head in with orchestra cymbals wile Lord Uglis napped after an over indulgent afternoon with a family size pack of Pop-Tarts.

Viceroy Strap-on and Peaches
Last seen performing “Gypsy” at the Holiday Inn outside Moss Eisley Space Port. Tickets are still available!

Yugga the Elder and Darth Meatsauce
Accidentally made wrong left turn into asteroid field while his master tried to touch up his mullet with a Lightsabre.

Darth Icky
Jedi Vice Squad picked up him parked outside padowan school playground in Huttsburg, Dantoine. He was charged with performing an immoral act with a Wookie.

Lord Smelly and Flappy
The first (but far from the only) Sith team comprised of a hand puppet, unfortunately it was the puppet who ultimately controlled Lord Smelly and dispatched the master with an irresistible but long expired gouda-melt.

Darth Purple
First of the Sith lords to put a Holly Four Barrel and Eidelbrok manifold on the top of a Super Star Destroyer. Drove into the sun while crankin’ “Highway Star
He died like he lived: Rockin!

1 Comments:

  • At 12:14 PM, Blogger Moo R. Squiddles said…

    Seems you have forgotten your sith lore, padawan....

    There is another, that goes by the name Darth Left My Toothpaste Back At Tristan Da Cunha

    http://website.lineone.net/~sthelena/tristaninfo.htm

    He was the most dreaded of all....

     

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