J3K
Possibly one of the most brilliant things I have come across in the freekin' world.
This my little peng-a-wins is my internet at it's finest:

http://iowahawk.typepad.com/iowahawk/2005/02/tv_classics_chu.html

Lard has 12% less fat than palmaid or other similar hair care products.
J3K
I found this in the archives:

In the first scenes of Star Wars, C3PO is actually sitting in some lard; during the cold Tunisian nights Anthony Daniels actually "pork-froze" in tub and had to be thawed out the next day under the hot Tunisian sun where he passed out from the fumes. It was later learned the fumes emanating from the Tunisian catering truck which was serving "Curried Fry-Up" for breakfast.

Marie Antoinette was actually misquoted about the whole "let them eat cake" thing and told the poor and destitute of France "Hey, we got some lard, you can spread it on baguette, it might not taste like butter, but it's the same shape!"

Late in 1944 the Allies drew up plans for a coordinated attack on the German city of Lardburg knowing the Nazi's were only weeks away from ham-bombing the entire east coast, but in a moment of Ovalteen induced silliness; the Americans rained down 3.5 million metric yards of "Victory Sausage" on Ho-Hocus New Jersey.

H.P. Lovecraft's classic novella "The Sweaty, Greasy Thing that Came to Swinemouth" was actually based on a reoccurring nightmare the author suffered where he was dipped in hot sauce and man-handled in "the cruel slather of mammal confection" by Fall River neighbor; Emril Lagasse. Lovecraft is later served with some tainted seafood and eaten by the Brockton, Massachusetts chapter of Mothers Against Drunk Driving.

eHip:
Riding on the coattails of the Oscar-happy Lord of the Rings, There's talk in Hollywood that perhaps the American public will now be more accepting of a film version of J.R.R. Tolkien's gut-busting, gastronomically hideous, prequel: "The Lard of the Rings". There's speculation that it will include subtitles, as it's likely that no dialogue will be discernable as the entire cast will have a mouthful of donuts at all times.

J3K:
And the pre-prequil; "The Slobbit"; starring Dennis Franz as Hobo-Changba Scumbaggins; who Tolkien describes as "Not as tall as a cats bottom, but thrice smelly be he." also starring Torr Johnson, Charo and the "Puppet-corpse" of Sir Alec Guinness

Next week:
Hollywood's mistrust of the loin cloth!

Bob Moog Suffers from Brain Tumor

More sad news, folks. It sounds like he's in a frail state. Check this article and follow the link to caringbridge where you can send him your personal wishes.

Perhaps humor is not appropriate at this moment, but this popped into my mind, so I must share: Bob Moog = Lord of the Synth. Star Wars on the brain indeed.

*** Just added ***
I've been meaning to check out the Bob Moog documentary titled (oddly enough) "Moog". I hear there's a bunch of Moog performance bonus material on the DVD. Available on Netfix too. Have a lookee.

What on my gigantic iPod, and by gigantic I mean I don't own an iPod, just a big computer with iTunes and I wear it in my pants and fill it with fruit salad. (Did I just hear the singer from Slayer yell "Doody head" in Angel of Death?)

Jimmie3000

Songs I'm listening to on iTunes that had "drive" in the titles that don’t' suck.

Driven to Tears: The Police

I'm on a The Police kick right now, but I have to say this song is a little heavy handed. I still like Andy Summers guitar in there during the solo, he should have played that tone for the whole song, but Stings ego took up 12 tracks.

Be Quiet and Drive: Deftones

Heavy but upsetting, I don't think Counselor Deanna Troi should listen to this song, otherwise she might turn into one of those boxes of salt than the guy mashed up.

Drive my Car: The Beatles

Cool use of the fuzz tone, it was invented by Fonzie.

Drivers Seat: Sniff and the Bears

"oooh, drivers seat!" I have no idea what's going on with this song. "Pick up your feet, drivers seat." (?) and there's a moog in there too, man that guy is noodling.

Overdrive: Foo Fighters

First time I've ever heard this song, it's actually pretty cool and poppy. Grohl always has great melodies, and his lyrics work The only issue I have with the Foo is the songs are screaming for bitchin' guitar solos and I can understand the minimalist approach on the guitars but dude, that’s what the "whang" bar is for, for bitchin'

Drive: The Cars

What's not depressing about this song. It's more miserable than the Deftones song up there, "who's gonna' hold your ears when you scream." I want to say something to break up the monotony but I know how it ends up for Ben Orr and it was pretty fucked up.

Moonlight Drive (Demo Version): The Doors

Sounds like the vocals belong on an Episode of Scooby Doo, in between Shaggy and Scoob running from ghosts and go-go dancing, and I think that's Mr. Mojo Morrison playin' de mouf harp.

Now this is spinning out of control!
This is better than Michael Jackson! We may end up invading Mexico as a result of this controversy! Here is the latest:
Mexico's Fox Says New Stamp Not Racist...

By MORGAN LEE, Associated Press Writer July 1, 2005

MEXICO CITY - President
Vicente Fox said Friday that U.S. activists who have called a new Mexican postage stamp racist do not understand the issue and should read the comic book on which it is based.

"They don't have information, frankly," Fox said in an exclusive interview with The Associated Press.

U.S. black activists and the White House have criticized the stamp featuring Memin Pinguin, a black-faced image of a child that has been condemned as racist.

"All Mexico loves the character," Fox said, adding that he himself was fond of it.

He said White House spokesman Scott McClellan should have had more information before objecting to the stamp and calling it an example of racial stereotyping.

U.S. activists including the Rev.Jesse Jackson, the Rev. Al Sharpton and leaders of other civil rights and Latino organizations also have criticized the stamp and urged that it be withdrawn.

Fox's spokesman, Ruben Aguilar, said the government "emphatically rejects these complaints, which are the products of lack of knowledge or people who want publicity."

He did not name those to whom he referred.

"By no means is Mexico considering the possibility" of withdrawing the stamp, Aguilar said, accusing critics of being "people who want to take advantage of this ... to seek publicity within American society."

The stamps were being offered on eBay at prices topping $200 for a full sheet. Hundreds of people lined up at Mexico City's main post office to buy them for 6.50 peos about 60 U.S. cents when they went on sale Friday.

Take a lookee at dis heh!




Yahoo News - More Images and information

I must tread somewhat lightly with this as I have friends that may not find humor in this the way that I do. I know that I should just leave this alone and move on to the next topic but I CAN"T. A friend o' mine the other day pointed out that Bernie Mac's image and comedy is no different than the image that is now somehow frowned upon. I don't get it. I don't get Bill Cosby's criticism of the Little Rascals, I don't get the removal of Amos & Andy from the airwaves, and I do not get why it is all so taboo. In this non-blissful ignorance I will continue to follow this story and scratch my head, wondering our diplomatic relations with Mexico will be irreparably damaged over a stamp.