I was saddened by the finality of the last episode of Six Feet Under.
I do not watch a lot of television these days probably because of the following reasons
1. It sucks.
2. I have a little toddler toddling about, and that is better than TV.
3. Aforementioned toddler has her own television agenda.
4. Increasingly precious spare time is better spent reading and writing.
5. It really is a mindless quagmire of idiocy, preprogrammed for the lazy masses.

With that said, my television time is devoted to a few HBO series, and that is it. Six Feet Under was one of them and it was a difficult reckoning that I will never see a new episode again. If you do not watch the series, I do not feel like explaining it to you. Do a Google search or something... For those of you that watch the series, what did you think?

A fucking tornado! In my area! In the exact area where I have ridden my bicycle up and down 5 million times, where I have jogged, walked, loitered and ran for my life at the time)... and now the remnants of what looks like an attack from Godzilla is what is left!If you do not believe me, here is a link to the local report of this bizarre incident.
My sister is an Earth Science teacher and quite the meteorology buff and she has explained to me the possible combinations of conditions that could cause such a storm but the immovable part of my brain which settles on established truisms (even if they are proven false) tells me that tornados have no place to form and take hold in such a hilly, tree-infested area such as the north shore of Long Island. The pedantic dolt inside of me states that we are impervious to earthquakes (not true at all), volcanoes (not sure about that one, but I would like to look into that) and all sorts of disastrous phenomena that occurs mainly in extremely impoverished regions of India and Sri Lanka. The truth as I see it (externally) is that the weather and natural cataclysmic activity is erratic and quite extreme at times, and seems to occur at a higher frequency than at any other time I can remember in my relatively brief lifetime to date. The reasonable non-doofus voice inside tells me that this is probably coincidental since the internet and all other manner of instant information delivery has made this data readily available to all at the same frequency as the occurrence at any given point on the globe. With that said, I can spare myself and readers of this from a Jimmy3K-annoying screed on the possibility of Al Gore's other invention (besides the internet), Global Warming/Climate Change to be valid.

Fuck all to the above... I have a theory.

This is a result of occultic tampering that occurred in the immediate region, circa 1919 by F.W. Woolworth, founder of the 5 & Dime Retail Chain, an avowed Magus, obsessed with Egyptian Black Magick, time travel and immortality. His house was Winfield, an incredibly detailed marble structure [see top right] which I happen to find absolutely magnificent but there are jaded morons who label the house as a garish monstrosity. Regardless, it is not the type of house to be ambivalent toward, especially anyone with an eye for occult and quasi-Masonic symbolism. Within these grounds, legend has it that Woolworth had constructed a working Black Mirror, which served as a dimensional portal enabling access through holes in the space/time continuum. I do not have the time or definitive knowledge to go into any detail on the exact rituals conducted, but scant sources reveal bloodletting, imprisonment, the Egyptian Book of the Dead and Necromancy, leaving the grounds severely haunted by psychic residue and ghostly static. It seems that the mirror may not have been closed properly and necessary banishing rituals may have been neglected, leaving portals open like this usually fail to protect this dimensional plane from chaotic energy that exists on the fringes of the ordered universe.

As ridiculous as the above pseudo theories sound, one thing I can account for is the eccentric nature of the denizens of the immediate area, having been one myself through my late-childhood through early-adulthood. There is a definite energy in the area, a crackling sensation of something vast and mysterious. I have always found it more grandiose and majestic than creepy and destructive and seem to have more than just a passing connection with the vast wooded expanses there.

Psychic residue first, reported by many and even published in a book by Monica Randall titled Winfield. If you follow the previous link, look at the incredible photos and tell me these do not stir up something...
Jimmy3K can vouch for the mysterious air about the region, the books and accounts all point toward an energy that is apparent, and a violent, raging tornado of vast destruction rips through the area, leveling houses and crushing cars.

I love to think that monsters had something to do with it.

My Thoughts For Today (with lots of parentheses)

I don't like these subway bag searches at all. I am not going to rehash any tired arguments about how useless they really are since you may refuse to be search and be allowed to leave the station, only to enter another station to release deadly gas (like Jimmy does after a 3 onion burrito lunch). what if I am carrying a big fat skunky doobie (does anyone use that term anymore?) whilst listening to The Doobie Brothers (were they ever truly cool?) on my vintage Sony Walkman (because everything old and dated and not better than new and improved is now in fashion)?

I have no point. I just want to get back into writing again and am happy to see the responses of my old and new friends flowing in. Talk to me about either the Doobie Brothers or Jimmy's Burrito devatation (or combine topics to make the Smelly Burrito Brothers).

J3K most right-wingiest post of all!

The Rolling Stones have just released a single that never made it to their septa-energetic "We've fuck-all in our bank accounts" called "My Sweet NeoCon", not to be confused with the George Harrison classic "I will slit your bloody bullocks you wife stealing fuck-nut Eric Clapton"

At first this was laughable; the Stones, who used to write rock songs but have become a complete novelty of them selves have jumped Hollywood's "We were only kidding about moving to Canada, we're staying here to pick apart the Republican side of the Government. This; despite the fact the majority of Democratic senators supported a war against Iraq, despite the fact Clinton had the longest aerial bombardment of any country (Balkans War) since Vietnam with tremendous civilian casualties who had been fighting against an enemy (Islam) that were burning down churches and peoples homes, but we were making them out to be the poor victims, this of course because Islam is a religion of peace (or pieces which is what you have after a suicide bombing) and where Wesley Clarke tried to mine the Sarajevo airport to blow apart and Russian aid flight from landing, and of course were we blew the fuck out of the Chinese embassy killing 14 Chinese citizens. Memory doesn't always serve but I recall a sustained an attack Iraq twice, once right after he came on Monica's dress, ordered the assault on the Branch Davidian Compound in Waco (So our foreign policy is bad? I'm glad there was no backlash for that one, especially in the Daycare center of the Murrow building.) sold guidance systems to the Chinese that are now installed on their pre-pointed and always "fueled for launch" nuclear weapons systems at our cities and gave monetary aid to North Korea as a reward for not starting their nuclear program (which they did under Clintons term of office). Lets also forget about when Clinton signs PDD 23 and limits US involvement in Rwanda and within two months half a million Rwandans have been killed, lets also forget the WTC was attacked first under Bill watch (only 6 dead, no big deal right?), and the two embassy bombings in Africa (Nairobi & Tanzania, only 250 people) to which we responded with 36 cruise missiles sent to an abandoned Al'Qaeda training camp and some of which hit a pharmacy warehouse in Kenya. I won't get into Mogadishu or the Cole, or the free trade act which Clinton had put into action allowing him to trade or sell military hardware or any form of technology to any country; friend or foe by bypassing any need for Congressional approval.

Anyway, yea, the Stones man! The GOP fucked us like David Bowie in Mick's billiards room, but you were here to set it straight! Stick it to GW, you guys rock! Play Freebird!

Is this to say the GOP are the Ghandi's of Western Civ? Are you fucking smoking crack out of Rush Limbaughs testicles? No, but we have gone from looking at the entire system (i.e. "Street Fighting Man") to yelling at George and Convelezza (i.e. "Brown Sugar") my rant was going to be something about the Stones should have done the right thing and pulled a SoundGarden sometime before Mick threw on that lime green zuit suit from "The Mask" and sang "Dancin' in the Street" for Live Aid vs. MechaLiveAid, but no, they went from being one of Rocks most important bands to being almost as good as "NickleBack"

When did rock decided to throw all it's eggs at one person? Rock should be throwing them at everyone? What happened to you Rock and Roll? You used to be cool, now you're a bunch of old codgers who do what you're told. How fucking sad is that? Rock music comfortable in front of the fire reading the Sunday times and nodding at the op ed articles.

Rock and Roll is what I live for, and the Stones should be ashamed of themselves for conforming to make a dollar. They now suck and have ass fucked Rock and Roll for the last time in my book. If I ever do see Mick or Keith crossing 3rd ave I will fling my MP3 burn of "Exile on Main St." at their fucking heads (ala Odd Job) to remind them of what was, and that they now are shit.
Fuck them.

there I have said it.

The Peoples Poet
J3K

When I found my constructional rights were being jeopardized for my secular given right of some NYPD fascist possibly leafing through my copies of the communist leaning "The New Yorker", "Juxtapose" (I cant sit on the LIRR for an hour and half without Anya Janssen!) and the philosophical musings of "Cumshot" then I knew it was time to take action.

All of New York needs to stick together on this! Go to the NYCLU.ORG site now and put a stop to the NYPD's jackbooted inquiries into what we might be carrying in our PBS tote bags, Eddie Bauer back packs or under our "Welcome to New York (Now get the fuck out)" hats with the sparkly fuse on the end before it's too late!

I have already done my share and sent this out. Our subways are in danger of loosing that precious urine smell and then they go and do this! The New York ACLU has already filed lawsuit against the city of New York's processing us like cattle for the slaughter, (or soybeans for the slaughter for my vegan comrades!)

Go now! Do your part! The revolution needs soybeans!

Basic Information (this will not be shared without your written permission)

Name:

Muhammad Al'Jihaddi (The Ladies call me Al Explodie)

Address:

123 Yemin St., Yemin

Phone #s:

877 672-2000x911 (This is the number to the National Rifle Association with an obvious reference)

Email:

admin@moveon.org

Gender (optional):

Same as my goat. (lil' Prophjay)

Race/Ethnicity (optional):

Al'Jahaddi, typical Irish name.

Age (optional):

Half my age plus seven

Search Information

Date of Search:

Time of Search:

What subway/commuter train/bus line?

The one with the big D on it; for DEATH TO AMERICA! but I digress.

What subway/train/bus station?

The one filled with the minions of the Great Satan! Also some Knicks fans.

Which entrance (if applicable)?

I was tempted to drop down an open manhole cover, but pig fattened Michael Guliani was blocking my portal to paradise!

Location (before entering turnstile, after entering turnstile, on platform, on train, on bus)?

The Great Satan was everywhere!

Name(s) of police officer(s) conducting the search, if known:

A man of much girth, he kept a salami wrap in his holster instead of his firearm

Badge #:

I could not read, the numbers were in Spanish.

Other info (about police officer):

He called me "Buddy" which was an obvious request to share my virgins in paradise. (70 only go so far you know.) I told him he must blow himself up for Allah if he wished for "Sloppy Seconds"

Incident Information

Please describe in as much detail as possible the method by which you were asked to submit to a search and how the search was (or was not) conducted by answering the following questions relating to the search:

Were others around you searched?

If yes, was everyone searched, or just some people?

Some who did not even smell like they had anointed themselves in rosewater were searched by this Satan!

Were you given any information about your right not to submit to a search?

He asked me not to eyeball his sandwich of unclean pork.

Were you asked any questions (e.g. name, I.D., immigration status, etc.)?

Please describe what you were asked and at which point in the search you were asked to do so:

He had some questions about my detonator, why it was shaped like Esther Rolle from "Good Times"

Please describe in as much detail as possible the method by which you were asked to submit to a search and how the search was (or was not) conducted:

Some acts would have been frowned upon by both the Prophet, and Burl Ives.

Did the police use electronic devices or dogs to inspect your bag?

An electronic dog named "Shocky" sniffed precariously close to my armpits and instantly crumpled like a hummus float.

Were you told why you were searched?

Because of my T-Shirt,

If so, what were you told?

It had the likeness of Mullah Omar making a large #2 on the flag of the Great Satan (Akkka America)

Do you have any reason to suspect that you were stopped as a result of your race, religion, ethnicity, or age?

If so, please describe:

I was singled out for my continual cries of "Allah Aakbar!" and "Freebird!"

Were there any witnesses to any of your contact with law enforcement as described above? Please provide names and contact information if possible:

Alec Baldwin

(He moved to Canada after the false election of George Satan Bush)

Captain Planet was also seen circling Washington Satan Park trying to buy herbs from Dreadlocked Satanists.

If you did not consent to a search, what happened?

I was asked to go detonate myself outside Pluck U on 8th avenue.

If you exited the subway/train station in order to avoid a search, what happened?

The agents of Satan (NYPD) were overcome with the smell of my armpits when I attempted to surrender (It was where I was warming my lunch)

Is there anything else you would like to add?

How am I to blow apart the Great blue collar Satan, his wife and pets and wallow in the blood of his young children with this obvious disregard for my most basic of human rights!