SYMPTOM OF THE UNIVERSE

existential dread, subjective media and news reviews and opinionated but not necessarily well-informed commentary.

Wednesday, November 30, 2005

Do you Woot?
Ya'll familiar with this concept of Woot? Everyday at Woot, there's one item for sale - that is one item for sale per day. Today, the item is a 3-pack of linksys 802.11b pcmcia cards for $9.99. Occasionally, they offer a "bag of crap". Here's some talk about what some of the bags of crap contain. They could be selling anything: wireless cards, golf clubs, sushi kits, jewelry. A veritable smorgasboard.

Monday, November 07, 2005

GBV, LedZep and things that go bump in the nacht.
-JIIIM

"And that's Jimmy Page; greatest white thief of black music ever." -Homer Simpson

Months ago I said rock died December 5th when GBV played for 3.5 hours, and I ran out of beer money quick and was not about to leave for a slash or go to an ATM fo mah loots (cuz' the cocksmokers won't let ya leave Irving Plaza!), they will always be my favorite live act, never let me down (except when Doug Gillard's mom passed away one night, but if I can't forgive that I am the clown prince of assho's.) Pollard, may not have been able to stand by the halftime but he never slurred (during a song anyway) or forgot a line of over 800 songs in twenty years at last count.

My fondest memories of a live show was 200+lb 6'5" Pollard falling into the crowd and Nate Farley swig face after getting back a freshly opened fifth of Jack about two fingers left and mostly backwash after sending it into the crowd deeper than he expected.

T-mo (Los Puppet no es guappo) said it best: "It's not dead Jimmy, it went back underground." Sort of what Lestat did at the end of that book

Let me add to that by saying if Hendrix is my Mozart, Page is my Paganini, I've spent years trying just pull his notes on my frett board (and get them close to right), I'm not even going to try and cop his sound, it's bad ass and he is a goddamn master of the multi-track, even when he has to be awakened by a .44 "Shark Stick" to get his junked out ass on stage he will always be the Dark Lord of the Les Paul and master of the (evil) Telecaster. Many dudes approach his tone with a wall of Marshall's, Boogies and whatever Fuzz boxes and compressors they could get their hands on but it's a very unprocessed sound, and really raw. Tha Honkey could play with terrifying skills. If the mighty Cthululu played a Gibson than H.P.Lovecraft would describe it as maddeningly ookey, spine pickling, and scarier than the time he was struck off his bicycle by a flounder wielding, overly-lipped negro while returning from an anti-mollusk rally in Fall River MA.

John Paul Jones one of my favorite Bass players of all time, an absolute bitching player, who could make vicious sound sweet if he wanted to.

Plant, the guy could go higher than Geddy, scream like Daltry and belt like Cornel and dress like Cher all in one.

John Bonham, He would cut down the mightiest trees in the forest and pelt the skins like no other before or after, if Page ripped off everyone from Bukka White to Willie Dixon then John Henry Bonham's tracks were the ground work for East and West Sie'de before when Hip-Hops where still making in their luvs.

My friend Paul, (who was crazy) once tried to tell me and my buddy Bob (who had a edifying revelation during the slave ship wedding scene of fellini's satyricon by noting "This movie is fuckin' weird.") that John Bonham pulled out two flash frozen rabbits from a nearby Nordge FreezeyBear and proceeded to slam out Moby Dick-dick-dick with dual brandished said ice-covered rabbit….We were young, stoned, and had not seen "Song Remains the Same" at the time so it was plausible. Paul also mentioned Jimmy Page dressed up in a "Popye" sailor suit doing a nautical jig during the "Fool in the Rain" solo, which was not in the movie, or written at the time of the movie, but again; plausible (it was good weed and we were lightweights anyway.)

If you would like to plug in the rhubarb tumbler into the already overloaded octopus connection go to page 38.

If you want to follow Dr. Nautilus in his time-basket take off your pants and turn the page.