2008 The return of the Jimmy 3000
and here's what I'm doing when I should be working!

Disney Movie or Porno Flick:

1) Doo-wop-a-doo-doo: The Ohio Sit-up Story.

2) The Apple Dumpling Gang

3) The Treasure of Dirty Sanchez’ Mines

4) With eight you get Rusty Trombone

5) Bob Cranes Pasty white asshole pointed at the camera for a half hour.

Babe Ruth and Jimi Hendrix; the coincidence is scary!

1) Ruth: Had to leave Baltimore to go to Boston to make fame in New York

Jimi: Had to leave Seattle to go to New York, to go to London to go to California, to back to London to go back to New York to have Steve Balmer build a shrine in his office that cost more than three times than what the record company paid Hendrix in four years.

2) Jimi: Always photographed with a piece of chewing gum in his mouth.

Ruth: Always photographed with a hot dog in shirt pocket, three bratwursts in his mouth, and Ty Cobbs handgun pointed at a group of immigrants.

3) Jimi: Had a combined ancestry of African American, Cherokee Indian and Irish.

Ruth: had a combined hatred of African American’s, Indians and the Irish.

Things to know when the giant asteroid hits San Francisco like it does once a week on Discovery Channel

1) Impact will suck total ass

2) At 280F the Tom Morello posters on your wall will begin to melt

3) The sonic concussion will cause your ipod to stop playing Nelly Furtado

4) The EMP shockwave will be so severe the schema of your Mocha half calf latte will blow off the top of your cup but make a cool foamy goatee on your melting face plate.

5) The Transamerica building will like turn into a peace rocket propelling the DNA of Pig Pen (taken from his last surviving arm pit hair) safely into the mellowness of the cosmos.

6) Dave Mathews will finally be seen as mediocre.

7) Paco DeLucia will harness the full power of Flameco to tame approaching mega-tsunami into an interpretive dance number.

These are just some of the (quote) amazing (un-quote) ideas I have festering in my brain sack for 2008!